The weeks after my dad left were really hard and full tears being shed. Around a month or two later my Dad had to come back for my great grandmas funeral. He started talking like he was gonna move back home. He said he was gonna go on another truck run and then he would be back and probably move back in. But he never did come back home. I do not know exactly what all the dates are for these events but one day we stopped in at the post office to get the mail but what we didn't know was that there were papers in there that would change out lives even more. I will never forget the gut wrenching sounds my mom made when she got in the van with that big yellow envelope. Inside were divorce papers. When we got home mom wouldn't get out of our vehicle. Once she finally had enough energy she got out and went up to her room and started wailing loud gut wrenching cries. Soon preachers and family were at our house holding each other and crying out to God. This evening is engraved in my mind forever. I thought I would never see my mom smile again and my family would never be normal again. "God, it can't get worse, can it?" What I didn't know is that it actually could get worse. But I will save that for later. Please keep my family in your prayers. We still have lots of struggles and tears but we do continue to march on with God holding our hands.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Tears and the Papers
I laid there curled up in a ball in the closet that connected my room to my mom's room listening to my mom wailing. The only thoughts I had were, " why me God??", "when will this end??" Every time I cried out to God there was only silenced that followed my pleading. Where was He when my dad ran out? Where was He when my mom was crying? Why wasn't He helping me?? I was so frustrated with God! But to this day I still don't know why God let it happen to my family but I do know where He was when my Dad left or when my Mom was crying. My God was standing right beside us holding us and crying along with us. He was holding my hand while I laid there in my closet! I spent many nights in the closet listening to my mom. Looking back I can't believe I actually made it through that. It seemed to hopeless back then. I was scared I would never get my smiling and laughing mom back. It took a very long time but praise God I did get her back.
The weeks after my dad left were really hard and full tears being shed. Around a month or two later my Dad had to come back for my great grandmas funeral. He started talking like he was gonna move back home. He said he was gonna go on another truck run and then he would be back and probably move back in. But he never did come back home. I do not know exactly what all the dates are for these events but one day we stopped in at the post office to get the mail but what we didn't know was that there were papers in there that would change out lives even more. I will never forget the gut wrenching sounds my mom made when she got in the van with that big yellow envelope. Inside were divorce papers. When we got home mom wouldn't get out of our vehicle. Once she finally had enough energy she got out and went up to her room and started wailing loud gut wrenching cries. Soon preachers and family were at our house holding each other and crying out to God. This evening is engraved in my mind forever. I thought I would never see my mom smile again and my family would never be normal again. "God, it can't get worse, can it?" What I didn't know is that it actually could get worse. But I will save that for later. Please keep my family in your prayers. We still have lots of struggles and tears but we do continue to march on with God holding our hands.
The weeks after my dad left were really hard and full tears being shed. Around a month or two later my Dad had to come back for my great grandmas funeral. He started talking like he was gonna move back home. He said he was gonna go on another truck run and then he would be back and probably move back in. But he never did come back home. I do not know exactly what all the dates are for these events but one day we stopped in at the post office to get the mail but what we didn't know was that there were papers in there that would change out lives even more. I will never forget the gut wrenching sounds my mom made when she got in the van with that big yellow envelope. Inside were divorce papers. When we got home mom wouldn't get out of our vehicle. Once she finally had enough energy she got out and went up to her room and started wailing loud gut wrenching cries. Soon preachers and family were at our house holding each other and crying out to God. This evening is engraved in my mind forever. I thought I would never see my mom smile again and my family would never be normal again. "God, it can't get worse, can it?" What I didn't know is that it actually could get worse. But I will save that for later. Please keep my family in your prayers. We still have lots of struggles and tears but we do continue to march on with God holding our hands.
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