LOVE

The definition of love: an intense feeling of deep affection. Ouch! That is how my love for Jesus should be described and honestly that does not describe my feelings for Him. This past weekend I have been angry at Him! "Why me, Lord? Why my family? Why do you take people away? Why does my friend have to experience that?" An intense feeling of deep affection. Tonight as I sit at my desk worrying about my circumstances God showed me that I am empty. Tonight He showed me I need more of His peace. After showing me that I am not filled with His peace, He showed me that I am not completely in love with Him. Falling in love with someone I can't see seems impossible! Tonight I want to fall in love with God! How do I get to the point where I have an intense feeling of deep affection for Him? Sadly it can't happen over night :( We need to be open to His love. We need to give ourselves fully. We need to praise Him instead of always requesting. We need to communicate with Him all the time! To me this seems so hard since I can't see Him. But tonight I want to fall in love with Him!! I pray that all of us want to have an intense feeling of deep affection for our Saviour!

Darkness

Darkness! I groped the wall looking for a light switch or anything that would allow light to enter the dark room, but there was nothing. I stumbled along what seemed to be a path. With my shaky voice I questioned what I was doing in this place. The only response I received was the darkness. Where was the end to this dark room? I needed to get out! I needed to see light! My foot struck something on the path and I felt my body lurch forward. I tried to grab something to break my fall but with the darkness around me I couldn't see to grab a hold of anything. My face hit the floor with a smack. I lay there for awhile wondering what the point was to even stand up. If I stood up I would just walk in circles and fall over and over again. Hot tears ran down my face. Why did it have to be so dark? Why couldn't I see what was in front of me? Suddenly I felt someone grab my hand and help me to stand up. Instantly I knew by the kindness in his touch that it was my Master. "Master, why is it so dark? Why can't I see what's ahead of me?" With the tenderness in His voice, He replied, "Because I hold what is ahead of you. You don't need to know. All you need to do is hold my hand and trust me!" Trust Him?? But what if He suddenly let go of my hand and I would fall again? As if He was reading my mind, He looked and me and said, " Sami, I won't let go of your hand! I am always with you even if you fall. When you fall I will help you stand up! Just take my hand and together we will make it through the darkness." I held tightly to His hand and looked up at Him, " Lord, you have called me to do something that seems beyond what I can handle. I don't know how I will become who you want me to become! Its too hard and I can't see ahead of me to see if I will make it through! He looked at me with loving eyes and said, "Samantha, just hold my hand and stay on My path and you will make it through! Just trust me!" He took a step forward and held out his hand. I looked at his hand and then into the blackness. Slowly I extended my hand until it was in His and together we stepped into the darkness.