Today I Long....

Today I long to pick up the phone and tell you about my life. I long to tell you how I am living in the dream you wanted for me. I long to tell you how hard this dream is but how fulfilling it is at the same time. I long to tell you how lonely my life gets. I long to tell you how God has brought our family through so much! I long to tell you what I really want to do with my nursing career. I long to tell you about the struggles in my life. I long to feel your arms around me. I long to hear you tell me that everything will be alright. I long to tell you how much it hurt that you chose others over me. I long to tell you that even though your leaving shattered my world into a million pieces, I chose to allow it to make me a stronger person! I long to tell you how I wish you would have been there to protect me when someone broke my heart. I long to tell you how I wish you were around to tell me that someone will one day love me for who I am.I long to tell you that I pray for you! Most of all I long to tell you that I have forgiven you! It isn't just a one step deal. I have to forgive you over and over again. Today I long to talk to you!

Shattered Worlds

Tonight my heart is breaking in a million pieces! I look around me and all I see is people hurting. I see people on their knees crying out to God and all they hear is silence. I see tears splattering onto the ground because no one is there to catch them. "Lord where are you? Why are you allowing so many people to hurt?" What tears at my heart the most is not being able to take everyone's pain away! If that tears, at my heart then what must God be feeling right now? No, we don't understand why He allows such horrible things to occur, but He never leaves us through those horrible incidents. Soon after my dad left I use to sit in my closet at night and cry till I had no more tears to cry. In those moments when I was curled up on the floor sobbing, I felt so alone. My tears were splashing onto the carpet with no one there to catch them. Looking back now, I don't just see a heart broken little girl curled up in a ball on the floor sobbing alone. I see a man holding me, with his hands under my cheeks catching not only my tears but his tears as well. Looking back I see my heavenly daddy holding me and crying with me! Tonight I know that even though it doesn't seem like He cares, He is holding each of those precious families and He is catching their tears and His tears! For the rest of us whose worlds aren't being shaken quite as much as others around us, all we can do is pray! Let's come together and pray for those who are hurting and are going through something that seems unbearable! Let's cry with them! Let's hold them up when they are falling down! Let's always remember that God is crying with us! We are never alone!