Someone Worth Dying For

Maybe you're the girl thinking you'll end up alone
Praying God, can You hear me?
Oh, God, are You listening?
Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I wanna believe
I wanna believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That You don't see and You don't know
Yeah, I wanna believe, Jesus, help me believe
That I am someone worth dying for


Am I someone worth dying for? This has been my question the last while. So many things have happened to me already this year. I am slowly making progress in my career as a nurse. I went to Elnora Bible Institute which has been by far the best experience in my life. I met my best friend there and it was only by God that I met her! This year I have also felt rejection. Last night I told my mom I am fine. I told her I'm immune to rejection and it doesn't hurt anymore. The funny part is, as I was telling her rejection has happened so often it doesn't hurt anymore, tears were flowing down my face. Ya she chuckled and informed me I will never be immune to rejection. Well today I agree with my mom. No human being will ever be immune to the feeling of rejection. My way of dealing with rejection is pushing it deep down and putting on a happy face and telling everyone I'm fine. Because I don't talk about my hurts I struggle with the thoughts I am nothing worth dying for. I am nothing worth loving. Above this paragraph are the lyrics to an amazing song that God keeps playing for me. Everytime I hear it I am reminded that I am someone worth dying for. I am someone worth loving! This is my song for the year of 2013! Today if you are feeling like you are nothing worth dying for, listen to this song! You are someone worth dying for! Someone did die for you!  Jesus, I want to believe. Help me believe I am someone worth loving and someone worth dying for!

Father Daughter Love

As I look around the room I can't help but brush away tears. My heart experiences the emotions of jealousy and joy all at the same time. What I see blesses me so much. I see fathers sitting on benches holding their daughters. But they aren't just holding them, they are holding them with pure love and pride. Oh how I long to be held like that by my own father. As I close my eyes, I pray that if God allows a man to come in my life that he would hold my future children with such love and pride. To the fathers in my church, thank-you. Thank-you for loving your daughters. To my uncles, thank-you! Thank-you for being the men in my life that I admire so much! Thank-you for showing me what I want in my future husband! I love you all so much! Bless you for loving your daughters! 

   A couple nights ago as I was driving, tears slid down my cheeks. All I wanted was a hug from my dad. But since I can't have those I run to my friends. Tonight I am thankful God has blessed me with a friend that always welcomes me with a hug! Zac, thank-you for being that godly best friend in my life I can talk to. Thank-you for giving me hugs when I needed them the most! You have no idea how thankful I am for your friendship! You have been the older brother I never had :) 

October Baby

She was a failed attempt of abortion. She was lied to. She was rejected, yet she chose to FORGIVE! This is the story of "October Baby". If you have never watched this movie, please take time and watch it. I have been so blessed by this film. It amazes me how this young girl chose forgiveness and was set free from the bonds that held onto her so tightly. After I was finished watching this film, my heart was heavy with pain. Pain for all those young souls who have been aborted and pain for all those souls out in the world who have not sought forgiveness in their own lives. Then guilt clenched my heart. Last night I was hurt and today I want to openly confess that last night and today I was holding onto bitterness and anger toward those who hurt me. Right now I want to take time to say that I forgive them! Even though the circumstances don't change, I want to  continually seek to forgive them. I want to be like the young lady in the film. I want to forgive those who hurt me and to let go of things and turn them over to God.